Sex is not only defined by intercourse. Sex begins with prior flirting and suggestion, it is unleashed during foreplay, it peaks during penetration and culminates in a marvelous way afterwards, when the couple is in bed, completely exposed and sensitive, still enjoying the past sensations. It's precisely that same vulnerability that makes it important for us to talk after sex. Have you ever had a conversation in bed with your partner after sex? You probably have. And there are at least 4 topics to avoid in bed. Do you know what they are? We at oneHOWTO will explain.
Topics you should avoid in bed: the past = former partners
This topic should never ever come into the conversation in bed or after sex. Why? Because at such an intimate and vulnerable moment nobody cares whether an ex of yours pleased you more or less, how sex was with him/her, what they did or what they should have done. Comparisons are hateful, so don't bring up ex partners under any circumstances. If you do not want to spark a scene involving jealousy and hurt sensitivity, you should realize that this is not the best time to talk about the past.
Additionally, discussing former partners might lead to unnecessary comparisons and insecurities, which could undermine the trust and connection you've built with your current partner. It's best to focus on the present and nurture your existing relationship.
Topics you should avoid in bed:negative sexual performance
I'm always the first to encourage couples to improve their sexual communication and get used to talking about sex. But, and there is always a but; this exercise should not be done in bed when the couple first has sex, much less referring to what happened minutes ago, because this is a very delicate moment in which nobody wants to hear criticism or advice.
Such issues should be addressed in a less intimate environment, when both are less vulnerable and more open to listening to certain things. Otherwise it could trigger a discussion or an episode where they could end up feeling bad.
Moreover, addressing sexual performance in a constructive manner can greatly benefit the relationship. Choosing the right time and place, where both partners feel at ease, can lead to meaningful improvements without causing distress or embarrassment.
Topics you should avoid in bed: negative comments about physical appearance
Stop and think for a moment: both of you are naked, having seen much (sometimes every detail) of the other person's body, after sharing maximum intimacy. Does this seem like a good time to tell your partner, "hey babe, looks like you've gained a few pounds, right?"
There is not even a reason to discuss this point further. Unless you want your partner to hate you, avoid these conversations in bed.
In this regard, it's essential to build each other's confidence and self-esteem. Avoiding negative comments about physical appearance not only preserves the mood but also fosters a positive body image and mutual respect. Compliments and positive reinforcement can be much more beneficial in strengthening your bond.
Topics you should avoid in bed: Engagement / marriage / children
Doesn't this topic seem a bit awkward? Talking about these things after sex gives us the feeling that the other wants to take advantage of our vulnerability to trap us, and the one who is cornered will feel attacked. This is also something you should never talk about on a first date, but It is better to have these conversations when clothed, in a less intimate setting and with a coffee or drink in between.
Furthermore, discussions about long-term commitments, such as marriage or children, require careful consideration and mutual understanding. Engaging in these conversations at an appropriate time shows respect for each other's feelings and ensures both partners are on the same page regarding their future together.
Extra bonus: Never say 'I love you' for the first time
Sometimes, after such intense and strong emotions, having both climaxed, one of you may have the impulse to say these three words that could change your entire relationship. Why isn't it a good idea? Because, although it may slip your tongue, the adrenaline that's still working around your system may rush you into saying I love you without actually meaning or feeling it. Moreover, the other person may also interpret it as an impulse, not as a sincere gesture. It's OK to say I love you to a person you are used to saying these words to, but it's not such a good idea if this is going to be the first time.
Similarly, expressing such significant emotions should be a conscious decision rather than an impulsive reaction. It's crucial to understand the weight these words carry and ensure they are spoken with genuine intent. This approach helps maintain the integrity of your relationship and prevents misunderstandings.
If you want to read similar articles to 4 Topics to Avoid in Bed - Don't Talk About These!, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.