How to Avoid Arguing with my Partner about Money

By Mary Smith. Updated: May 31, 2018
How to Avoid Arguing with my Partner about Money

When you live as a couple, financial matters are definitely essential, and they are often a source of arguments. Outstanding debts, daily expenses, unexpected payments and even the economic demands of children can become a cause of conflict if not handled properly. To reduce tension and address problems properly, it is important to establish good communication, but it is not always easy to do so. So OneHowTo gives you some tips so you can discover how to avoid arguing with your partner about money.

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Steps to follow:

Arguments about money are usually very stressful for both partners, so you have to learn how to deal with them very calmly. Firstly, to minimise arguments you should both realise it is important to know how much money is required for common monthly expenses. This will allow you to set a budget and get rid of any tension.

You should calculate the basic costs of:

  • Rent or mortgage.
  • Household services and supplies.
  • Food.

The set budget should never be too tight so it can always deal with the unexpected and so you are prepared for them.


It is essential to have a joint bank account for shared expenses and a personal account where each of you has the rest of your money and you can manage it as you wish. Living with a partner does not mean you should live in a restrictive way. You are individual beings who still have a right to have your own money.

Each person deposits the amount of money calculated in the budget into the joint account each month, but always be flexible. There will be months when you need to deposit more money because a more expensive bill has arrived. This should not be a problem if you are both organised with your money.

How to Avoid Arguing with my Partner about Money - Step 2

Having a joint account will allow you to avoid fighting about money, because all expenses will be fair and can be monitored by monitoring the account. Overall, you should both ideally put the same amount in each month. However, if either of you eat in the canteen each day at their work and the other has to take food from home, it is normal is that whoever eats in the canteen every day puts in a little less money because they won't consume the same amount of food.

Trying to balance the costs out fairly is also important for easing tension.


Another aspect that may trigger money arguments includes spending on food purchases or utilities. To avoid them you must:

  • Detect the problem. Are you buying more food than necessary? Do you buy very expensive products? Establishing exactly what is wrong and making adjustments is very important.
  • If the person responsible for buying food is considered to be wasteful, it is important that the other partner helps to balance the scales out by also going shopping and carrying a list of foods that are really needed.
  • Are utilities getting too expensive? Determine why and make the necessary adjustments.

Any major expense should always be discussed as a couple. You should never take a decision alone as this could cause major arguments. Finances should be jointly managed by both parties. It's just as important to talk to your partner when you plan to spend a large amount of your own money, even if you may be informing them and then listening to their opinion as an act of courtesy.

How to Avoid Arguing with my Partner about Money - Step 5

If you have problems controlling your spending, it is very important to seek help. When you live as a couple, you need effective economic planning so you can make plans together. For example, if you want to go on a trip, buy a car or buy an apartment in the near future, both of you must make a similar financial contribution. Therefore, both of you should have the same ability to save and organise, and if this is not the case, it will inevitably cause arguments.


When faced with your partner having overspent or having made an unwise financial decision, it is very important that you remain calm. Try to see if their spending may be reversible, i.e. if the purchased product can be returned, cancel the transaction or solve it in another way. If that is not possible, it's time to analyse how that spending affects both of your finances and what you can do about it.

If this occurs frequently, it is really important that you seek help. You can either go to a financial advisor to teach youhow to save or spend money, or using various apps that are available to monitor expenditures.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Avoid Arguing with my Partner about Money, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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