Jealousy in relationships

How to know if my partner is possessive

Mary Smith
By Mary Smith. Updated: January 16, 2017
How to know if my partner is possessive

Possessive people have a clear distrust and obsession towards their partner, which they need to control at all times. Normally, a, controlling and possessive person hides their insecurity and low self-esteem behind a dominant mask, making them incapable of loving themselves and loving their partner in a healthy way. Someone who is self-confident believes in the person at their side and don't feel the need to control them. Possessive people are toxic for couples as they seek to dominate, and then the relationship eventually turns into an emotionally draining, vicious circle. If you have your suspicions about your partner and want to know whether they are possessive with you, read this OneHowTo article and discover the keys to finding out.

You may also be interested in: How to Avoid a Possessive Relationship
Steps to follow:

One of the first signs that indicate that our partner is possessive is their obsessive jealousy. Does your boyfriend or girlfriend get jealous when you stay over with your friends? Do they want you to devote all your time to being with them and only them? Even keeping you away from your family? Possessive men and women are jealous of everything around their partner that they are not included in. Normally this process is progressive, so will not be displayed outright at first, it will be more gradual.


Another sign that may indicate that our partner is possessive is their controlling attitude. Possessive men and women have the need to control their partner at all times. They need to know where they are going, who they are staying with, when they will return, what they will wear, why are they going to this place instead of staying with them, etc. Possessive people tend to get upset when their partners make plans with friends in which they are not included, a fact that can lead them to hate their partner's friendships.


As part of their controlling attitude, not only do they constantly question you to know every detail, but they also even show a lack of respect for the privacy of their partner. Therefore, the possessive people tend to constantly check their partner's mobile phone, social networks if they use them, texts, photos, etc., looking for any sign that tells them if they have been cheated or not, and to know everywhere they go. This could even mean, if they are in a highly possessive, that they ban you from going on social networks to prevent you from talking to other people.


Having a possessive person as a partner may involve changing your hobbies and keeping you away from the people around you, because they want you to themselves. It often leads to some form of emotional abuse if the other person is of a submissive character and let themselves be controlled. In any cases, this is toxic and very far from a healthy relationship and a happy couple.


They may try to introduce you to their circle of friends and family to the point of making it your only social environment in order to have full control over you or to ensure that you spend all your free time with him/her.


However, these are not the only signs of possessive men and women. They may try to change some aspects of your personality and even the way you dress, your hair or makeup. If you pay attention, everything is connected. They want you to adapt to them and fully dedicate yourself to your relationship.


If your partner has assaulted you physically or verbally we are talking about a more serious problem and you should seek help immediately. Having a possessive partner and having a partner who is physically or psychologically abusive are different things. Although it is a fine line between a possessive man or woman and an abuser, you don't have to put up with it. And the moment this happens, stop thinking that you can change and leave, you deserve someone who values you and loves you as you are.


According to experts, possessive people generate this feeling as a result of an acute emotional dependency, which can make them afraid of losing their partner, and leads them to want to possess them to prevent this from happening. They need professional help to treat and control it.

If you want to read similar articles to How to know if my partner is possessive, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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How to know if my partner is possessive