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How to make a long-distance relationship work

By Mary Smith. Updated: January 16, 2017
How to make a long-distance relationship work

For various reasons, many couples are faced with a scenario that's not easy: a relationship in which they're physically separated. Clearly, each relationship is different, but in general, they require a certain maturity and emotional intelligence. If you find yourself in this less than ideal situation, at OneHowTo.com we'll give you some tips about how to make a long-distance relationship work. Photo: Google Images

Steps to follow:
1

The first step in managing a healthy long-distance relationship is not to blame yourself or the other person for the lack of closeness. Sometimes a career opportunity or a personal situation can lead to having to temporarily move away from a loved one, making it necessary to understand and accept it in order to continue with the relationship. Before deciding to do long distance, both partners must come to terms with it and accept it. Not doing so will cause resentment in the future, and will lead to all sorts of relationship problems.

How to make a long-distance relationship work - Step 1
2

When a relationship isn't solid enough or isn't well established, long distance can be the enemy. Thus, it's important to establish whether you really want to continue together and to tackle all of the challenges that this new stage will involve.

3

Emotional intelligence is needed to have a long-distance relationship. In the beginning, it will be difficult to understand and accept that you can't physically be together, but if channelled in the right way, important aspects such as communication, mutual understanding and friendship can be strengthened.

4

Frustration is common in long-distance relationships, being unable to be together and to share your life as you'd like, can generate an atmosphere of sadness and disappointment. It's important to control it and not let it affect you.

5

It's also necessary that once both have agreed to continue with the relationship despite the distance, understand that you must trust each other. If there have been disappointments between the two of you, it'll be very difficult to change this aspect. Thus, you should think well about whether it's a good idea to continue with the relationship.

6

For couples who are very close, it's difficult to learn to live more independently. At the beginning, it's hard, but it's a matter of getting used to it, and in most cases, it turns out to be a very beneficial lesson to learn, that despite being in a couple, you also each have your own life.

7

Controlling stress is a critical element with long-distance and ensuring that it doesn't affect the relationship. The lack of contact may increase frustration and this in turn will lead to greater problems in the relationship: frequent fights, arguments, accusations and sadness, so remember to be flexible and don't focus too much on unimportant matters.

8

If the separation is temporary, learn to take it lightly. At this stage, both partners will have a lot to learn about themselves and the other person, so instead of wasting time arguing without reason, concentrate on getting to know each other better and learn to share in other ways.

9

It is important to continue doing activities together, even though you are apart. Part of a healthy relationship is spending quality time, and discovering new things together. Unfortunately, daily video calls won't fulfill this need. Here are some ideas to spend quality time while apart:

  • Have a date night. Order the same type of food, and eat it together, then watch a movie together. Make an effort to look nice on the date. You could even take advantage of the fact that it is at home to wear sexy lingerie.
  • Cook together. This requires advanced preperation, as you will both have to buy the same ingredients. The idea is to cook the same meal in different kitchens, while on a video call.
  • Send eachother real mail. Emails and video calls are great, but a hand written letter or drawing is way more personal. Everyone loves getting mail, and who better to receive mail from than the person that you love?
  • Plan a future trip together. If you can't afford a trip together, just make one up. Make a list of destinations and try to decide on one.
  • Do similar things. Take a drawing class or join a football team. While apart, couples tend to do different things and lack subjects to talk to eachother about. By actively doing similar things, you are creating a common interest, and something to talk about.
10

Talk about the future. The most difficult thing in a long distance relationship is not knowing when you will see the person next, or if you will ever live together. You should both come up with a solid plan to see eachother regularly and work on finding a way for you to live in the same city eventually. Having a date to count down to will make the distance a lot more bearable.

11

Remember that long-distance relationships aren't easy. They require a lot of commitment between a couple and therefore, you both must be willing to accept the challenge and make sacrifices

If you want to read similar articles to How to make a long-distance relationship work, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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HOW CAN YOU MAKE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK IF THE PERSON IS FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY AND THERE IS A BIG CULTURAL DIFFERENCE PREVENTING THE OTHER PERSON TO TRULY UNDERSTAND HOW THINGS ARE IN THE US

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