How to Talk about Sex with your Partner

By Mary Smith. Updated: January 16, 2017
How to Talk about Sex with your Partner

It seems simple, but when you address the issue of sexual pleasure with your partner, it may not be a simple talk. We fear that we may hurt someone's feelings and cause them discomfort, but the reality is that when one of you is not enjoying sex then the best option is to talk openly about the subject. But, how to talk about sex with your partner? Do not worry, on we give you some key tips!

Steps to follow:

It is very important in a relationship that your partner knows about your tastes and sexual preferences and also your fears and insecurities so that together you can both work on satisfying your needs, hence the importance of talking about the subject when you do not feel pleased in bed.


Complicity and sexual chemistry is based on, believe it or not, effective communication. When the other does something that you like your instinctive response is a sound or a word denoting pleasure, then the other partner will always know that's the way to do it. That is why talking is so useful.


Do not approach the subject right after sex, which is a time of vulnerability. Instead, choose a time in which both are comfortable and relaxed to start the conversation. Neither set the scene as if it were a matter of life or death, as this could make your partner feel insecure.


Make sure this conversation is relaxed. When talking about sex with your partner, you should be calm and free of tension. Otherwise, this will create an atmosphere of unnecessary and unhelpful discomfort.


Select a voice and a way of talking to invite reconciliation, trust and privacy. Use direct language that is easy to understand for the other person and try to always begin with yourself: what you like, what gives you more pleasure, what would please you...


Don't undermine the other person's self-esteem. The idea is not to make your partner feel bad but to rather improve together, so never highlight faults but rather explain what you want from your partner. Make it look like a invitation to explore further and not a reproach.


The invitation should include solutions beyond what you want. For example you can share sexual literature, read articles and magazines on the subject and even watch some movies together if you want. These are ways to learn and explore new paths.


Also listen to what the other has to say and together create a plan of action to think of what can work: more foreplay, more attention to some erogenous zones. The options are many, discover which one suits you.


Sexual compatibility is something that is also achieved through various forms: talk about sex, discover new things, be willing to give and take pleasure, it's all part of the learning process and it is important that both see it that way.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Talk about Sex with your Partner, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

  • It is important for your growth as a couple that you also address sexual issues, so each day your intimacy grows stronger and stronger.

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How to Talk about Sex with your Partner
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