How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Need a Break
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Sometimes when we are in a love relationship, we can find it a bit stifling especially when our daily life seems to be revolving around our boyfriend. Work, study or any other important commitments might have more priority and sometimes our relationship might need to take a back seat, even if only temporarily. Telling your boyfriend about the break can be a bit daunting as he is bound to ask lots of questions and can even put up a fight if he thinks this is the end, so you must know how to approach him with this topic before going in all guns blazing. If you want to know how to tell your boyfriend you need a break then keep reading this oneHOWTO article.
Say it in Person
The most important first step in telling your boyfriend that you need a break is to tell them in person. Sometimes girls convey this news through text message or via a common friend (or even those who prefer the antiquated approach of a written letter). They do it so that they can avoid the confrontation and questions. But all these ways are downright rude. If you are taking a break then your boyfriend has a right to know why. The best way to explain this to him is by talking with him in person. If you are in a long distance relationship then ideally you will want to wait until the next time you see them in person, but if this is impossible and you really need the break right away, then do it through the best medium you have on offer. This could be Skype, but may even be on the phone.
Make it Clear to Him That It's Not a Break Up
Taking a break and breaking up are two different concepts. When a relationship becomes unbearable to one or both persons, they break-up. But when difficulties arise or one or both person feels they need space in a relationship even though they are still in love, they take a break. So, at first decide what you want: a break or break-up. If it’s just a break then make it clear that you are not going to leave him forever. Rather you are going to take some days off from the relationship to be with yourself. Once you make your decision clear to him, there would be no misunderstanding and he would appreciate your decision. If he doesn't understand why you need the space and trust you well enough to know that you are telling the truth, then perhaps they are too insecure to stay together and a break-up might be necessary.
Discuss with Your Boyfriend the Boundaries During the Break
Setting boundaries during break is very important. So, sit with your boyfriend and tell him about the boundaries you want to set. Ask him if he is okay with them or not. If not then ask him how he wants it to be. For example, you may want no calls and no messaging during the break while your boyfriend wants to both. Then you both can talk and come to an understanding that you both won’t call each other and he can message you but there is no set rule that you have to reply. Clearly stating this type of boundaries will make your relationship stronger rather than messing it up.
Duration of Break
Set a definite time period for the break. Tell your boyfriend clearly whether you are taking a break only for the weekend or for a whole week or for a month. Also, tell him that you will contact him yourself once the period of break is over. This will calm him down and he would be able to enjoy the break too. You may even be strengthened by the enjoyment you have in the reunion.
State it clearly whether both of you can date other persons or not during the break
Remember the episode in the popular television series Friends when Ross and Rachel were on a break? At that time Ross hooks up with another girl and Rachel freaks out and finally breaks up with Ross. If you are comfortable with either of you being casually physical with someone else then you should discuss this as well. However, this can be challenging, so you'll need to ensure you both are secure enough to do this. If you want to avoid such a mess up then tell your boyfriend clearly whether both of you can date other people or not during the break.
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