What is Benching in Dating?

By Elsie Goycoolea. Updated: January 20, 2017
What is Benching in Dating?

Nowadays, there are many ways to show interest for someone you want to date. Online dating has allowed people to find potential love interests and instantly start texting. Texting or sending a Whatsapp message is a quick and comfortable way of communicating especially with people that you might have just learned about and might not want to put yourself out there just yet. However, if you have found people texting you but then never committing to anything you may have been benched.

In this OneHowTo article we explain what is benching in dating.

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Is benching the same as ghosting?

People argue that benching is the new form of ghosting but there are some differences between both terms. If you have found yourself in a relationship but suddenly the other person stopped any communication with you and seemed to have evaporated from earth, you may have experienced ghosting. For whatever reason, your love partner may have lost interest in you or the relationship, but instead of cutting strings, this person just vanishes like a ghost.

On the other hand, benching is a push-and-pull scenario. You might have started texting with someone and then don’t hear from that person in two or three weeks. Then suddenly you get a new text from this person saying how much you were missed and wanting to meet. It may look as if this person is interested but the relationship never seems to move past the first base.

A bencher or a shy person?

The bencher is the person that sends you cute or romantic texts, maybe promising you some big moves, that never materialize. It is argued that a bencher always has someone on call to avoid feeling lonely. That is why you might only hear once in a while from this person. While this may be interpreted as a friendship by many people, there are times when a love interest may ignite from one of the two parties.

However, it is also possible that some people prefer to text simply because they are shy or want to take things slow. Many people have a hard time with dating and may appear as benchers when they are just finding it hard to decide whether they want to trust moving forward into a relationship.

What is Benching in Dating? - A bencher or a shy person?

Are you a benchee?

We all know that people are busy nowadays so we don’t expect to hear back from someone immediately. However, it is also possible that you are being benched and that you would want stop thinking that special someone is just busy.

You might be a benchee if your love interest is sending you mixed signals. One day this person is excited to meet you or hang out with you, but then never commits. Your plans are always cancelled or postponed but then this person always texts you with last minute plans. You might feel stressed because this person never wants to talk about the relationship and maybe prefers to hang out with a groups of friends as opposed to both of you together.

Have you ever been benched? We would love to hear from you!

If you want to read similar articles to What is Benching in Dating?, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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