When to Text Back after the First Date

By Maria Victoria Malela. Updated: January 16, 2017
When to Text Back after the First Date

First dates are known to stir nervousness and excitement, reinforced by the all too common question - will this person like me? We want to appear at our best, capture and retain the attention of our love interest and potential future partner. Ideally we imagine that this first date will corroborate our hopes to find a person with similar tastes and an almost unequivocal sense of chemistry, thus resulting in the promising beginnings of a romantic relationship.

Because of that, when a first date qualifies as 'successful' and we are given the green light to initiate contact again, the determining factor often quite literally lies in our hands. We want to validate our interest for the person through the means of a mobile phone text-based exchange otherwise known as text message. A lot of things are indeed at stake and will depend on the way that text message is received by its recipient.

Adding to the additional pressure, it seems especially mandatory to deliver the text message in a 'perfect' time frame, so as not to appear neither too desperate nor barely involved. One day too late and our love interest might misinterpret our hesitation as lack of genuine interest in them. So when to text after the first date? OneHowTo recommends a few options.

You may also be interested in: The Best Places to Go on a First Date

Afternoon or evening date?

When it comes to defining an ideal time frame for texting after the first date, one has many options - as long as it doesn't feel awkward and inappropriate. With strong rapport, one may even skillfully text one's love interest as soon as a few hours following the first date to find out if they reached home safely or alternatively invite them to text you when they are home. Send ideally a text message that wouldn't be too long. You want to leave a quick and good impression that would have your love interest think about you and anticipate your next encounter. Texting in the evening after the date, can also be interpreted as a sign of caring.

For afternoon dates, you might want to wait until the next day, again, bear in mind why you are texting. You want to show your interest and eventually set another date. Use tact. Don't rush into immediately asking them out again. Let the person reveal their interest in you. Other alternatives to initiate contact may be following them on social media.Facebook, Instagram or Twitter can give you ideas to talk about and mention in your text (their Facebook events, their last Instagram picture, a tweet,..) however, don't give the impression that you are stalking them. Make it a more subtle way to create closeness instead.

When to Text Back after the First Date - Afternoon or evening date?

Take expert's advice with a grain of salt

A lot of dating experts claim to have the success formula when it comes to texting after a first date. The typical time frames tend to range from a few hours to 72 hours, and vary from one dating expert to another. In reality, these guidelines are not always accurate and can potentially cause difficulties in the communication, because we are at all times dealing with different people and different expectations. Following strict guidelines can also set a pattern of 'rules' to follow and may result in a tiresome, pre-planned relationship, devoid of spontaneity and authenticity.

Common sense is of course a prerequisite, one may still choose to take expert's advice into consideration, as long as it doesn't come at the expense of our intuition. It's a little bit like creating a customizable middle ground. For example, if the idea of 72 hours appeals more to you than 24 hours, but you still find it too long and too regulated, you might create a time frame in-between.

More important than when to text after a first date is what you say and how you say it. You might want to initiate contact remembering a joke you exchanged during the date or by simply sharing something interesting you came across, during the day - anything from a TV show to an event on the streets.

Final tips

Whenever you choose to text after the first date, make sure you are tactful and considerate.

Unless you want to make sure that they reached home safely after your first date, don't text your date late at night.

Make a smart use of emojis, do not overdo it. Keep it to a minimum with a simple smiley.

Make your first text message about them.

Don't wait hours to text back when they respond. Take a look at our article How to flirt on WhatsApp? for more tips.

Don't start debates. If the conversation is going back and forth, you might ask them when would be the appropriate time for you to call them.

If you want to read similar articles to When to Text Back after the First Date, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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