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How to Tell if a Guy Is just Using You for Sex

By Mary Smith. Updated: August 17, 2017
How to Tell if a Guy Is just Using You for Sex

If you've noticed that all you do with your partner is have sex and keep dialogue to a minimum, you're probably wondering what his true intentions are. If you have strong feelings for him and were hoping to move the relationship to the next level, it's important you find out if he has the same hopes or if he's only interested in sex. If you suspect that a guy is just using you for sex, keep on reading this oneHOWTO article for the key signs to look out for.

You may also be interested in: How to Tell a Guy You Want to Have Sex

Your relationship basically revolves around sex

If he initiates sex every time you meet or if you rarely go out together and spend the greatest amount of your time in the bedroom, it's likely that the relationship is just sex and nothing more. Yes, sex is crucial in any happy relationship but remember that it should be so much more than that. At the beginning of every relationship it's totally normal to spend lots of time in the bedroom discovering one another and so on but this should not mean he doesn't care about anything else at all. Does he show interest in your life? Does he want to plan and experience many things with you? Do you have any tender, loving moments together? If the answer to these questions is 'no', it's blatant to see that he is just using you for sex.

Try not offering sex when you meet and propose other plans. This will give you a great chance to see if he actually keeps calling you when he sees you don't want to have sex for some time. However, you should do so for a prudent time, there's no use refraining from sex for just one date and then going back to bed the next day. Make sure he knows he's not going to get any to see how he reacts to this situation. If he stops calling you, then he was probably using you for sex.

How to Tell if a Guy Is just Using You for Sex - Your relationship basically revolves around sex

Sporadic booty calling

Does he call you or bombard you with flirty or suggestive messages late at night? If the only time he contacts you is to see you at night or only shows interest in being in your company in the early hours of the morning, it's plain to see that he is using you for sex. If his feelings ran deeper and he wanted a relationship, wouldn't he want to spend more time with you and get to know you as a person? Wouldn't he want to meet you during the day and not just when the lights go down. This usually also means he'll arrange to meet you last minute, i.e. when he doesn't have anything better to do.

Another key sign that he might be using you for sex is if he's always too busy to spend time with you when you suggest other plans, yet he is always going out and spending his free time with his friends.

How to Tell if a Guy Is just Using You for Sex - Sporadic booty calling

Excuses to leave

When you have to almost beg him to let you sleep over or if he leaves as soon as you've finished your time between the sheets because he has "very important" things to attend to, it's likely he's interested in one thing and one thing only: sex. A man who has strong feelings for you or loves you would never dream of letting you travel home alone during the early hours of the morning. On the contrary, he would love to share the night with you, spooning you and feeling close to you.

Does not talk about himself

Alarm bells should be ringing if every conversation he has with you soon turns into a conversation about having sex. He simply has no desire to find out more about you, how your day is, how you friends and family are, etc. If you've been going out for quite some time, it simply isn't normal not to talk about his personal life or about his day or share any of his worries with you. Yes, you might know all his favorite positions between the sheets, but have you any clue what his favorite meal is or his pet hates? The both of you speak one language and one language only: sex. He simply wants casual sex and has no intention of anything remotely long-term or serious. Find out in the following article How to tell if he's in love with me.

Not interested in conversation

Also, if he gets bored when you try to talk to him about your friends, family or anything that's bothering you or if every conversation you have has a sexual tone, he clearly has one thing on the brain. He clearly speaks only one language: sex. You may not have much in common, but even so, if he likes you more than just for sex, he should show interest in your life and interests or redirect the conversation into a middle ground where you both feel comfortable talking.

How to Tell if a Guy Is just Using You for Sex - Not interested in conversation

Does he seem to care about your feelings?

If you have tried to talk to him about a certain issue or problem you have in your life and he hasn't responded by showing he cares what has happened, this is a clear sign he's just not that into you. Some guys are not that empathetic, so if you have let him know that certain attitudes he has hurt you and he doesn't really care or want to change them, you can safely say he's only using you for sex.

How to Tell if a Guy Is just Using You for Sex - Does he seem to care about your feelings?

Future plans

Does he ever plan things to do with you in the future? We're not talking about getting married, moving in or having kids, but just talks of going out for dinner next, week going on an excursion or even to the cinema. Although he may promise you lots of stuff, if he always finds an excuse not to fulfill his promises and plans when the time comes, he's just leading you on to take advantage of you sexually.

If your man does all of the above, it's clear that he wants your hot body rather than anything meaningful or special. If this is the case, it's important that you talk to him/her and explain how you feel and, unless you want casual sex, end the relationship before you develop stronger feelings and you get hurt. These OneHowTo articles might be of interest to you:

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