Romantic relationships

Why Is it Harder to Fall in Love When You are Older

Mary Smith
By Mary Smith. Updated: August 31, 2020
Why Is it Harder to Fall in Love When You are Older

When you're a teenager, your conception of what love is seems to be more similar to that depicted in fairy-tales but, as we get older, experience shows us this is not the case. Though adolescence is a phase that is lived intensely, you may be feeling it's not as easy as it used to be to fall in love.

Don't panic, this happens to many people for a number of reasons. Whether you're struggling to find that special someone or wonder why you seem to feel better off alone, at OneHowTo we'll explain why it is harder to fall in love when you are older.


  1. Learning to love yourself
  2. Time is gold
  3. Heartbreak can be cruel
  4. Learning to be alone
  5. What is love?

Learning to love yourself

The conception of romantic love starts to fade as we grow older. You learn that not everything goes and that love is not about giving absolutely everything to your significant other, there's actually more to life, starting by yourself.

With years, you get to know yourself better, therefore you have more priorities and tend to be more picky when choosing the perfect partner. People learn to search for a person who won't try to change you and will love you just the way you are. if that person doesn't fit in with your character or way of life, you'll tend to forget about him or her, as you'll be less willing to change for that person. But this is just the first of the reasons that explains why it's harder to fall in love when you are older.

Time is gold

The responsibilities we have daily accumulate year by year. You tend to work more hours (especially if you have your own business or are self-employed), so this means you have less free time. What's more, you want to spend your free time exactly the way you please, so finding someone who enjoys the same activities and hobbies as you do may seem like a difficult time.

Having children is also a big time consumer, so it's difficult to find space to be with someone just enjoying their company or doing an activity you both enjoy doing.

Heartbreak can be cruel

Albert Einstein once said that the only source of knowledge is experience. When it comes to love, this is absolutely true. Most people have suffered from heartbreak at one time or another, this is why people protect themselves from having to experience this feeling once again. Those who have recovered from a serious heartbreak will usually build a wall around their heart and may be especially protective when approached by a potential partner, this is why it's harder to open up to someone.

Why Is it Harder to Fall in Love When You are Older - Heartbreak can be cruel

Learning to be alone

If you've been living on your own or at least without having to rely on anyone, it's normal to have your own habits and obsessions when at home. Getting used to be alone means that when a person enters your life, you expect them to adapt, but that is not always a case.

When you are used to being alone, it can get hard to give in to another person's customs if they interfere with yours.

What is love?

If you've asked yourself what love is at different stages of life, you will have already realized both answers have been different. This is because love is a conception that changes as you live. Yes, those butterflies in your stomach will always be there every time you fall in love, but that is not enough.

Love can mean different things to different people, this is why couples living apart can be happy for years on end and still claim to be in love and others cannot stay apart from each other without feeling that love is fading.

In general, the romantic conception of love fades as years go by, and love turns into something slightly more pragmatic and comforting.

If you want to read similar articles to Why Is it Harder to Fall in Love When You are Older, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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Why Is it Harder to Fall in Love When You are Older