The first time

How to Avoid Pain the First Time you Have Sex

Mary Smith
By Mary Smith. Updated: May 31, 2017
How to Avoid Pain the First Time you Have Sex

If you're thinking of losing your virginity, know that it doesn't always have to be painful. There are many women who, when their hymen breaks, hardly realize it because they're just enjoying the moment, are relaxed and sure of what they're doing. So you can breathe easily because losing your virginity isn't a synonym of pain, rather the opposite. It means you're giving yourself to someone you love with your whole body, to enjoy a profound experience.

At oneHOWTO we'll tell you how to avoid pain the first time you have sex so you know what you can do to make the experience completely satisfying for both partners.

You may also be interested in: How to Have Anal Sex for the First Time
Steps to follow:

The first thing you should know if you want to lose your virginity is that not all bodies react the same way to the same experience. If you feel pain or not depends on many factors, including the size of your partner's penis, how aroused you are and if you're nervous. These are determining factors that may cause the first time to be painful or, conversely, a pleasure.


Why does it hurt the first time? Women have a membrane covering the vagina that's called the "hymen" and if you're a virgin, it's quite likely to be intact (although it can also break in other circumstances). So the pain and bleeding that you experience when you lose your virginity comes precisely from the rupture of the hymen.

So don't get nervous if you see that the sheets are stained with a little blood, since it's completely normal. Moreover, it may be that the bleeding is prolonged throughout the day, so don't worry. However, if you see that after several days you don't stop bleeding or the bleeding is severe, consult a doctor who will examine you carefully.

How to Avoid Pain the First Time you Have Sex - Step 2

There are women who don't feel pain when their hymen breaks but this is because they're concentrated on the act of sex and aren't thinking about the pain or their nerves. Bear in mind that the more nervous you are, the less pleasant the experience. The reason is that when you're nervous, you're tense and your muscles contract, which hinders penetration of the penis because your vaginal cavity is smaller and isn't sufficiently receptive.

If you're experiencing these sensations, it's recommended that you stop and kiss your guy to begin to relax again. Touch and caress each other and let yourself get aroused again. The more you feel like having sex, the more enjoyable it will be because your vagina will be more receptive and wet with desire.


Good advice for avoiding pain the first time is to use a lubricant or Vaseline. This will make penetration gentler and if you're dry due to nerves, the lubricant will make you wet, thus making the sex better. It's essential that the vagina be sufficiently wet for penetration so that it doesn't hurt and that the penis can move easily in and out.

If you want, you can also put Vaseline on your partner's penis, so you're both wet, making penetration more gentle for both.

How to Avoid Pain the First Time you Have Sex - Step 4

Another important part of making the first time special and painless, is to experiment on your own beforehand. Therefore, it's recommended that you explore your erogenous zones and learn what turns you on, what you like and what gives you pleasure.

Having sex without first having explored your body may be too confusing for you and your partner. Therefore, you can look at yourself with the help of a mirror, touch yourself and enjoy sexual pleasure without a partner so you know how you like to be touched and thus guide your partner better. At we'll explain how to masturbate for the first time.


Foreplay is very important. As we've already mentioned, one of the tips to avoid pain when losing your virginity is that you're sufficiently aroused and relaxed, thus making penetration easier and allowing your body to be ready for it. To achieve this state of relaxation it's important that, before penetration, you dedicate some time to foreplay that includes: touching, kissing, games and so on.

How to Avoid Pain the First Time you Have Sex - Step 6

The position that you do for the first time is also important, so avoid positions where the penis goes in too deep. Opt for gentler positions and it's not recommended that the woman is on top because in this position the penis enters deeply and with great intensity. The bestsex positions for the first time are:

  • The missionary, where the man is lying on top of the woman.
  • The spoon, where she lies on her side and he penetrates her from behind.
  • The face to face is a romantic position where the man is half lying on top of the woman and penetrates her gently.

In this article, we'll explain in more detail what are the best positions for losing your virginity.

How to Avoid Pain the First Time you Have Sex - Step 7

If you want to read similar articles to How to Avoid Pain the First Time you Have Sex, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

Write a comment

What did you think of this article?
I and my girlfriend have been together for two years now, but i dont really know if she want to have sex with me. what should i do?
choose doggy style it is very nice position n penis gose deeply in vegina so u can enjoy a lot
I am a virgin and my boyfriend and i want to have sex but he only knows one style so can you tell us styles that we can use
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How to Avoid Pain the First Time you Have Sex