Breaking up

How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship

Mary Smith
By Mary Smith. Updated: March 11, 2022
How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship

They're hot and they're cold, they come and they go, you love each other, you hate each other, you fight, you make up. Today he or she is the love of your life, the next you can't stand being around them.

If this sounds all too familiar to you, there's no denying that you have a tumultuous relationship with your partner that offers very little in the way of stability and will cause you pain and emotional difficulties ahead. If you find yourself in this kind of oppressive or controlling relationship, bite the bullet and give yourself a chance to live a more fulfilling life by bringing the relationship to an end. For encouragement and ideas on how to identify whether you are in a toxic relationship and how to end it, we suggest you keep reading this OneHowTo article on how to end a tumultuous relationship.

You may also be interested in: How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind

Steps to follow:


An unstable relationship not only has adverse effects on your emotional wellbeing - putting you under enormous stress, shattering your self-esteem, it can also have more serious consequences such as making you more susceptible to heart problems, high blood pressure, depression, insomnia and it generally takes its toll on your mental health. Therefore ending a toxic and unhealthy relationship should be your top priority.

How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship - Step 1

We understand that no sentimental breakup is easy, but hiding behind that excuse only highlights emotional dependency and makes it clear that it is high time that you cut this person off completely. There will be difficult moments where you'll question if you did the right thing and it might be on a par with grieving for a loved one. However, remember that this is the right thing, for both you and your partner.


The first step is admitting to yourself that you and your partner are not compatible - think of the balance between the good times and the bad. Though you might cling on to the good times, it's likely the bad times outweigh the good in an unstable relationship, which is more than enough reason to call a day on the relationship and take your separate paths in life.


Once you've made the decision to end things, take a deep breath and talk to your partner. Don't shout or insult him/her and avoid the use of violence at all costs. Also avoid trying to soften the blow by lying and saying you "just need time to think". You should have conviction in your words and make things clear: "I want to end this relationship with you because it clearly isn't working and neither of us is happy".


If the situation escalates quickly and becomes an all-out war filled with insults and screams, the best thing to do is to be the voice of reason and stop the argument by walking away. In a tempestuous relationship, there are probably plenty of reasons to blame the other person and vice versa, but fight the urge to put all the blame on your partner because it's likely that you aren't completely innocent either.

How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship - Step 5

Stay strong and, above all, don't yield to emotional blackmail - this can be dangerous because your partner could persuade you that he/she will change whereas you know, deep-down, that they're just empty promises to stop you from walking away. If you don't work well together in a relationship it's time to be mature and accept the situation for what it is.


A breakup can be heart-breaking at the best of times but remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will overcome this emotional pain.


If your self-esteem has hit the floor as a result of a toxic, unstable relationship and you don't feel able to end the relationship alone, we advise that you visit a relationship specialist who will be able to guide you and provide the support you need and deserve. You'll get through this and come out stronger the other side.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship