Others Sentimental Breakups

How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind

Mary Smith
By Mary Smith. Updated: January 20, 2017
How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind

Need to forget about someone you loved or are still in love with? Most people go through the pain of heartache at least once in their lifetime. A relationship has reached its conclusion and you know you should move on but you simply cannot stop thinking about her/him. Getting over a breakup and moving on isn't easy, we know. You'll most likely be looking back on the times you shared together with rose-tinted glasses which will stop you from moving on with your life. It might sound cliché but, the old adage "time heals all wounds" really is true. With time, your mind and you heart begin to recover from the pain and the loss and you'll find the strength to move on. We at OneHowTo understand how it feels to go through a break up and want to share some advice on how to get someone out of your mind.

You may also be interested in: How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship

Steps to follow:


With the death of a relationship, often things are left unsaid and sometimes you think that things would be different if you could just say one last thing. If you feel that there are still some things that you aren't clear about, perhaps talking things through with your ex will give you closure so you can move on. We know how difficult it is to accept that this chapter in your life has come to an end when the feelings you once had for him/her are still very much alive.

If you wished you'd said something that you didn't get the chance to say or were too angry/upset to admit, it might be a good idea to bite the bullet and do it now. It might also be cathartic to get everything off your chest.

How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind - Step 1

If seeing them in person is just too hard, you could send them an e-mail. Another option is to pour your heart out in a letter, with all your uncensored thoughts and feelings of love and/or hate. If you want to say that you still love him/her, write it down. If you want to say that they're an idiot or a bore, write it down. Don't hold back. There's one catch though: don't send it. This will be a way to end the relationship in a figurative way and to say everything you think without having to see that person face to face.

How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind - Step 2

Try not to search for explanations for the end of your relationship. Replaying the relationship again and again in your mind and trying to pinpoint a particular reason will lead to nothing but insanity. You can't turn back the clocks and you can't undo mistakes you've made in the past.

It's natural to look back on memories you shared together but it won't change anything. The more you analyse and nit-pick every little thing that happened between you, the more mental energy you waste on your ex partner and the harder it will be to forget about them. Dwelling on the past is a colossal waste of time and will stop you from living in the present and getting on with your life.


Give your home a spring clean and remove all physical reminders of your ex partner: clear out their clothes, take down any photos and delete old e-mails and texts. After all, if you're surrounded by constant reminders, how do you expect to get your ex partner out of your head? You could throw their belongings away, recycle them or donate them to a charity. If removing all trace of your ex from your life is too hard, you could instead gather all their belongings and put them in a box which you should keep well out of sight, e.g. in the attic. Don't forget to delete all memories of your ex from your phone, social networking sites, etc.

How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind - Step 4

As we mentioned earlier, when a relationship comes to an end, people often look back with rose-tinted glasses and miss the 'wonderful' person they were with and the 'fond' memories you shared. In reality, your ex partner is far from perfect and has caused you a lot of heartache and pain. You should pull them down from the pedestal on which you've placed them, otherwise you'll never move on and nobody will ever live up to their 'perfect' standards. Stop torturing yourself by looking back on the good memories and imagining things getting back on track again. Be realistic: your relationship is over and the sooner you stop living in the past, the easier it will be to move forward.

List all the pros and cons of the relationship and you'll soon realize that it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies. Remember that annoying habit your ex had? Or how you thought their nose would make Pinocchio's look petite? Or how their music taste was just shocking? Thinking about their flaws will help you realize that they aren't anything special.


Instead of moping around in your pyjamas with your two best friends Ben & Jerry, throw yourself into stimulating activities and surround yourself with friends and family. Live for the moment! Keeping yourself busy and planning things can help snap you out of a slump and means you can really start enjoying life again. Appreciate the little things in life: look at the beauty around you; go for a walk and feel the wind blow through your hair or the sun's warm glow on your face. Appreciating these small things on a daily basis can help you immerse yourself in the present and help you move on sooner.

How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind - Step 6

You should form a plan to get your life back on track because you deserve to be happy and get the most out of life. To distract yourself from thinking about your ex partner longingly, call a friend or a family member and talk about anything except the breakdown of your relationship. Make plans to meet up with them so you have some dates in the calendar to look forward to. When memories flood your mind and are overwhelming, distraction is key. Distractions give your mind and heart a rest: engross yourself in films, books, sport - any type of activity that will take your mind off things.

How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind - Step 7

Also, try to stay positive and upbeat: the world hasn't ended and you will get over this tough period in your life. Don't fool yourself into thinking that the best times of your life are over. If you did have amazing experiences with your ex partner, it's normal to feel empty without them. This will pass and you'll live life to the full again.

Try to transform your negative thoughts and be optimistic about the future. Think about all the things you've yet to experience; the places you've yet to explore and the people you've yet to meet. How exciting life can be! Eventually, you'll reach a point in your life where you can look back on the relationship and smile at the memories without feeling such searing pain. You'll see the relationship as an important chapter in your life, but only one chapter, not the book.

How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind - Step 8

If you want to read similar articles to How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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How To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind