How to Handle being Benched

By Elsie Goycoolea. Updated: August 3, 2020
How to Handle being Benched

When you are trying to get to know someone that you attracted to but the other person only texts you back every once in a while you might be being benched. Benching in dating is referred to those instances when a person keeps texting you wanting to meet or maybe expressing interest in you, but never on a regular basis. You might believe the relationship is not going anywhere, but then you never know if you should break off the relationship hoping that it might get better and may want to commit.

In this OneHowTo article we share how to handle being benched.

You may also be interested in: How To Respond To Being Ghosted

Learning if you are being benched

The first step is to learn if you are being benched. Texting is not exactly the best type of communication. It is quick and efficient but emoji based communication misses on many aspects of human interaction. It is possible that this person is shy, busy or is not getting across to you in the way that was intended.

Try seeing if you can instead communicate through a phone call or through video chat. You may even try proposing to meet for the first time or more regularly. If this person is willing to try other forms of communication it may be a sign that he or she is interested in moving on to the next step.

How to Handle being Benched - Learning if you are being benched

Be clear about your intentions and feelings

Many people take on dating because it is a fun thing to do. Sure, it may be a fun hobby to set up an online dating account and start swiping right or left. However, many people have found their love partner in a dating site and you might too.

If you have started dating someone for a while already you might start to feel that your feelings towards this person have changed. It is important that you are clear about your intentions on whether you want to continue communicating with this person. If you start feeling more for this person then try to open up about our feelings. Open communication is key in any relationship and you may not want to move forward if your feelings are not reciprocated.

How to Handle being Benched - Be clear about your intentions and feelings

Stop texting and end the relationship

If you attempted to open up to this person and stated that you are interested in moving on to the next step, but your partner keeps sending you biweekly texts, then you have to take action. You are being benched and while you may be tempted to keeping hoping that there is a future together, it may be better to move on.

You are not someone’s second plate or back up plan. It is clear that you are not in the same stage in life nor are interested in the same things, so it is not worth all the stress and worry you might have of never knowing when you are going to get a text back from this person. Every person and every relationship is different, but around signs of non-commitment or disinterest you know better than to be a benchee.


If you want to read similar articles to How to Handle being Benched, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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