Ending Relationships

How to Tell Someone to Leave You Alone Nicely

How to Tell Someone to Leave You Alone Nicely

Some people don't quite understand social cues. They may be well intentioned, but many people believe that all you need to get through to someone is persistence. Whether you are trying to get away from a classmate, former or false friend, relative or a person who has a fascination for you, it is better to tell them to leave you alone nicely without hurting their feelings. You don’t want to be discourteous, so there are some tactics that you can use to tell someone to leave you alone without being rude. Most importantly, you need to stay calm and get your message across as directly as possible. oneHOWTO tells you how to tell someone to leave you alone nicely.

You may also be interested in: How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Need a Break

Steps to follow:


If you want someone to leave you alone and if you are not interested in their insipid chat, then you can just walk away. Don’t waste your time listening to them uncomfortably. Just say that you need to go and then leave. If you are in the same class or at a party, you may run into the person again and again. But you can just smile at them and walk away. You don’t need to formally oblige and talk to them.


If the person continues to hang around you or follow you, then you may need to make an excuse to leave. If you are on the street and someone is talking to you, tell them you have an appointment you will be late for. If they ask you what it is, you can say it is private and you'd rather not say. If you are at a part or somewhere it is difficult to leave, you can say you need to speak to someone else about something. Again, no need to tell them why. If they ask you, then they are being rude and you can walk away indignant. If you find yourself at social gatherings with people you'd prefer not to be there, we have this guide on how to avoid someone you dislike.


If they still persist, you can give them an explanation of why you want them to leave you alone. Once you find the right time and place to talk to the person, be honest and open about the reason why you want them to leave you alone. If a person is interested in you and you don’t reciprocate those feelings, then say that clearly. If a classmate or neighbor always wants to hang out with you and you are not interested, then get your point across. This is probably better for them in the long run.


If the other person is really serious about you, but simply isn't getting it, then you should be extra careful not to hurt their feelings. While getting your message across, make sure you keep balance between being sensitive and getting your point clear. During the process, don’t insult the other person or call them names.


If the person is harmless and wants to talk, consider doing just that. Just because you don't want to make something with someone, doesn't mean they don't have something interesting to say. Give them a chance and then naturally make your exit. This won't be rude and means you can show that there is not much worth pursuing.

How to Tell Someone to Leave You Alone Nicely - Step 5

If you have spoken to someone a few times and it has been pleasant enough, you may have exchanged numbers, emails or social media info. However, if you see that the interaction isn't going anywhere, then you should consider ending contact. How you do this is up to you. If you reply to messages with short answers and no follow up, then the person should get the picture. You are doing it nicely by responding, but not encouraging. Ghosting is when you simply cut off all contact and stop replying to messages. While this might seem like it is rude, if the person doesn't get the hint, then it is more on them than on you. If you can't say something nice, sometimes it is better to say nothing at all.


Blocking them from all your social media accounts will give some space to both of you. When you will be out of their sight, chances are that you will be out of their mind soon too. So, if you have them on Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp or other sites, remove them. Keeping them there will only encourage them to stick to you. You will constantly stay in their mind as they see your photographs, know what’s going on in your life, comment on your pics and expect a reply. By following you on social media, they will constantly get a chance to talk to you and stay in touch with you


Don’t try to postpone them. Stop flirting with them, and never tell them that you will think about their proposal, that you will talk to them later, or meet them after a few days. In order to be polite, most people tend to say things like ‘I like you, but this is not the right time to talk’. By saying such things, you are only giving them false hope. If you keep them lingering, they will crawl back at you time and again. If you want to get rid of them without doubt, then cut all communication with them. Just tell them that you never want to see them or talk to them, and that they should never come back to see you


No matter how irritated you are with the person, and that you have stopped all communication with them, don’t gossip about them with others, especially if they are your mutual friends. The worst thing that can happen is you gossip about them and they come to know of it. Your goal is to let them move on, not to make them resentful


You should let other people know that there is someone out there who just won’t leave you alone. If you are at a place and someone is trying to cling to you, then it’s better to let others know about it. They may be able to help you in some way or the other. If things get worse, you should let your family know. If someone doesn't get the hint to the point you fear for your safety, then this is definitely advised.


You may want to avoid places you know they will be, at least for a while. It may upset your daily routine, but it might help to put you out of this person's mind. If there are places you simply have to be together, then ensure you don't engage with them.


As a general rule of thumb, lying is not a positive thing to do. However, for some people, the truth is perhaps worse. If someone asks you to do something, you can make up an excuse. If they ask you out or keep persisting, then you can say you have a partner or are not interested in anyone at the minute.

However, it is very important to remember that if someone is bothering you and won't leave you alone, it isn't ‘rude’ to be honest with them. You can tell them straight that you don't want to speak to them, that they are pestering you and that their unwanted attention is unwelcome. Some people think they are reading the signs correctly, when they are actually clueless. This could be a genuine mistake on their part and they may even think you are interested (or that their persistence will make you ‘come around’). Being honest might give them the push they need to recognize these signs properly.


If someone really won't leave you alone and you fear for your safety, then ‘being nice’ is no longer a required consideration. Tell them firmly to leave you alone. You don't want to use rude or abusive language. This is not because they don't deserve it. It is because people who are pushy might not respond to it will and it can put your safety in jeopardy.

If the person is still pushy or insistent, then you can shout for help, run away or call the police. You don't want to escalate a situation if it is unnecessary, but at the same time it is always best to be safe than sorry.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Tell Someone to Leave You Alone Nicely, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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1 comment
I got someone here will not leave me alone
OneHowTo Editor
Hi Pete,

Have you tried using any of the advice in the article? What do you think would work best for your situation?
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How to Tell Someone to Leave You Alone Nicely