How to Use a Whip in Bed

By Mary Smith. Updated: November 26, 2018
How to Use a Whip in Bed

You may have seen people use different types of whips in films or other sources, but you may feel curious as to why people find pleasure in using a whip and how to use it properly if you love experimenting with new sex toys and developing your sexual relationship with your partner even further.

Whips are usually used in BDSM sexual relationships and, as you'll soon find out, are a great tool to introduce yourself in the world of soft light bondage, as it is usually accompanied by the use of either ropes or handcuffs. If you're feeling curious about this sexual practice, keep on reading this oneHOWTO article and learn how to use a whip in bed properly.

You may also be interested in: How to Use Whipped Cream in Bed

Why use a whip in bed?

As mentioned above, a whip is used in sexual relationships that are part of BDSM (bondage, dominant, submissive and masochist sexual relationships). More specifically, whips tend to be used in light bondage practices. But why do people find it pleasurable? A person who enjoys the pleasure of whipping is usually a person who likes being in a submissive role whereas the whipee will have a dominant role. If you are not familiar with these words we advise you to visit our article on what is dominant and submissive.

Being spanked is a pleasure for the submissive, as it is the perfect gesture of control and power from the dominant, to show the submissive who's in charge.

The pleasure of using a whip also has a physiological explanation, as, when used properly and in the right intensity, the spank activates blood circulation in the area whipped, thus making any other activities after the spank in the area more pleasurable due to the higher blood concentration. Moreover, the spank also helps release endorphins, which feels like a rush of pleasure.

As you can see, using a whip is a great idea when you want to experiment with some role playing with your sexual partner, so let's move on and learn a little more about using a whip in bed.

How to Use a Whip in Bed - Why use a whip in bed?

Types of whip for sex

As we've said previously, the function of a whip is to spank the other person. This can be done with a number of tools that are not strictly a whip. If you have never engaged in a spanking session, we advise you to try other methods before using a whip in bed.

Your hand is a perfect spanking tool, as you can control the intensity of the spank perfectly. A paddle is also a great tool to begin with, as it will help you learn your partner's best spots and learn the intensity with which you can play without spanking too hard, while they come in different surfaces so you can experiment with sensations. The more flexible the paddle is, the less impact it will have on your partner's skin.

The Flogger

It is defined by having several leather or rubber tendrils. which is what is used to spank the skin and a handle. If you are still pretty new to using a whip in bed, a flogger is perfect. It can be used for different functions. To begin with, the tips of the tendrils can be used to tickle the skin, stroke it or whip it.


Also known as a riding crop, it will remind you of the whip used for horses. These tools have a small handle, a spine that is perfectly flexible so it can absorb some of the power when using it and the tip, which can be of several types:

  • Broad tongue: Provides a flat surface to whip
  • Double tip: The leather loops over to creates a greater noise with less of an impact.
  • Dual sided: These usually have surfaces made with different materials so you can experiment with sensations.

The cane

Although it's technically not a whip, many people consider the cane a whip due to its spanking function. Perfect to role play teacher and student due to its reminiscence of old school reprimands, this is also for more experienced levels and for those submissives that highly enjoy pain, as the power of the cane is highly concentrated and can sting pretty badly.

The bullwhip

This is the spanking tool that fits more into the description of an actual whip. They come in different sizes, although their average size is around 3 feet long if you want to use it in bed at home. They are formed by a flexible grip and a knot so your hand does not slip. The thong is highly flexible and the tip goes thinner and changes in material; this part is called the popper, which is what makes the cracking noise you hear when using this whip. This type of whip is only recommended for advanced levels of spanking. Practice outdoors with inanimate objects to practice your aim and make sure you don't use it until you're good at it.

How to Use a Whip in Bed - Types of whip for sex

Different ways to use a whip in bed

Now that you know more about the different types of spanking whip-type toys, let's get down to business and show you how to use a whip in bed correctly and in different ways. Remember to always use a safe word that the submissive can use if he/she wants the dom to stop doing something.


Soft BDSM starts with experiencing sensations on your skin so, if you want to use a whip in bed from the beginning it's best to start with tickles. This will help you know where your partner's erogenous areas are, and where your partner is more ticklish. Arm bondage is recommended so that your partner cannot move and he/she has to resist the tickling. This is great sensual foreplay for what's to come. Do this with the only the tip of the whip, floggers are the best tools do tickle.


Another way to use a whip in bed is by stroking. This will create anticipation of the spank, and will turn the sumbissive on. Drag your whip down your partner's spine until you get to the buttocks area. Play with time and the areas you stroke. Floggers and crops are both create for this, but bullwhips are also a good option if you are ready to use one.


The most obvious function of a whip is in fact spanking. The first thing you should know is that you should only ever spank on the buttocks and thigh area or you could seriously hurt your partner. Create as much anticipation as you like before the spank, using the previous two actions mentioned and, when the submissive is not waiting for it, use your whip to spank. Make sure you use the right force so that your partner doesn't feel more pain than he/she can handle. If you're using a flogger,you can twist the tendrils around and thrust it to spank for a harder sensation.

You should always aim for the fleshiest parts of the skin when using a whip, as you could tough your partner's pelvic bone, which is not a very nice area to be whipped. A more painful area is the back of the thighs. Make sure you spread out the spanks on both cheeks so one does not become too sore.

After you're done with the spanking session, it's a great idea to keep stimulating the spanked areas manually, the pleasure will be more intense.

How to Use a Whip in Bed - Different ways to use a whip in bed

Precautions when using a whip

Now that you know how to use a whip in bed, it's equally important to know how to avoid certain dangers and make sure you are not harming your partner in any way. This is why you should take these tips into account:

  • Stop spanking if boils or blood appear.
  • After the session, use soothing cream or aloe vera on the area to make sure your skin is in perfect condition.
  • Only use a bullwhip after you have practiced in an open air area so you avoid any accidents in the house.
  • Always use a safe word you have previously agreed on with your partner so that he/she knows when to stop.
  • When using a long whip, it may be a good idea to wear eye protection, as accidents have happened in the past.
  • Never use a whip in other areas of the body that have not been mentioned here.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Use a Whip in Bed, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

  • We recommend you also use a blindfold for your spanking sessions with a whip to intensify the pleasure.
  • Only practice BDSM with someone you feel comfortable with and in whom you trust completely.
  • Remember that using a whip in bed should be a pleasant experience for both partners, so remember you should never go any further than you actually want to.

Write a comment

What did you think of this article?
Jock Enner
Very exciting article to me as I am a submissive who craves being whipped.
It's a good article. Well written and well presented., and full of goo information.
I am new to Domestic Discipline Lifestyle. so I would appreciate more articles like this one.
Thanks a lot
Lauren Ciaramella
Personally, what do you think makes a girl orgasm or feel more turned on when being whipped?
Some people have the ability to process pain and instantly re-process it into pleasure.
Masochism is a well known phenomenon, and the level varies with different individuals.
My new girlfriend believes that I have a very high level of tolerance for pain, and she
can tell that I am liking it.
I hope this gives a partial answer to your question.
Would love to communicate more with people like you on this important subject,
as it very new to me.
Thank you and enjoy your evening
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