How to Deal with Clingy Guys - The Best Tips
Everybody has their own tolerance bar. Many women and men like their partners to be attentive, to stick around most of the time and continuously ask about the other's life. However, many others may feel overwhelmed by too much smothering by their partner. If you're feeling like a guy is getting too clingy, then there are certain things you need to assess. Are you just not that into him as he is, or is he really going over the top and you just need more space? At oneHOWTO we want to help you solve these issues so you can effectively learn how to deal with clingy guys.
Set your boundaries first
As we've said, each person has a completely different boiling point from another and will thus need a different amount of space and/or attention than the person next to them. Starting a relationship is about getting to know somebody better, so reading the other person's reactions to each of your actions will be essential in other to get along well. You will perceive somebody as clingy when the guy in question fails to detect the above and has no idea they may being too intrusive.
Before we get to the part where we tell you how to deal with clingy behaviors, you have to do your share of introspection and try to analyze what specific actions make you perceive this guy as clingy. This will not only help you pinpoint the behavior that the guy will have to change if you want to keep a good relationship, but will help you get to know yourself better and know what things you tolerate and what things you don't for any future relationship of any kind.
- Does he send you one text message too many?
- Does he want to go everywhere you go?
- Does he want to be by your side 24/7?
- Does he ask too many questions you don't feel like answering?
- Does he know your Social Networks' timelines better than you do?
- Des he smother you with too many hugs and kisses?
- Does he agree with you on everything and leave their own point of view behind?
There can be as many scenarios as guys around the world, so make sure you find those annoying things that trigger this clingy perception in you. Write those attitudes on a paper, which will help you have a more objective opinion on the guy's answers.
What do you feel for him
The question of how you really feel for the guy is simple: do all of the attitudes annoy you no matter whom does them? Would you mind if the person were someone else? Maybe you're just not that into that person as you thought you were, or this measuring bar applies for everyone in your case.
Think about the attitudes you've pinpointed in the exercise proposed above in order to know if you care for that person, if you are in love with them or feel attracted to them. If the answer to these questions is negative, then this is the reason why you perceive this person as clingy : you are not interested in the guy.
Let him know
The following step is to start to actually deal with a clingy guy. As you may know, it's not that simple. What you say and how you say it may affect the relationship you currently have with that person, so if you don't want things to change it may be tricky to get the message through.
The obvious thing to do is to tell him what you think, but in order not to hurt his feelings, try the following tactics:
Divert his attention towards something else
If he want to follow your every step, can't focus on anything but you or is on top of you almost 24/7, try reminding him of other activities, hobbies or subjects you know he enjoys that don't involve spending time with you directly. When someone is in love, it's normal to have the other person on their mind, although you should never stop doing those things you used to do. Kindly remind them of that in a casual way. For instance, ask about his friends and casually suggest them meeting "Hey, how are your friends doing? How long is it since you last met?". You should take into account that this is just a temporary solution and that, once he has got into the habit of doing stuff without you, you should let him know how much your relationship has improved now that you each have your own space.
Explain your position
After going through a situation where you have found a guy to be clingy, don't accuse him directly of being so. Instead, talk about how the situation has made you feel and how it affects you. For example, if he has come along for a coffee with your friends when you wanted to spend time with them alone, let him know that you had preferred to spend some private time with them to catch up with your friends and focus entirely on them.
It's important to also show appreciation for his willingness to share things with you during the process, as he may feel the blame is on him. Let him know it was nice of him to do such and such, that you are grateful, but that wasn't what you had in mind. Mutual understatement is the key to a healthy relationship.
Compromise and exchange
Giving and receiving is also key in a healthy relationship, so another way to deal with a clingy guy is to offer something in return for less clinginess on his part.Therefore, you can suggest a romantic getaway in exchange for a night out with your friends. Make sure you make your boundaries clear to him to make sure he accepts them and listen to what he has to say, his relationship with you may not be perfect either from his point of view.
Clingy behaviors can take their toll on a relationship. A guy may find he is being kind and attentive when you are taking his attitude as being clingy. Make sure you have managed to get through to him by pointing out when these behaviors happen again. However, you shouldn't be pointing the finger of blame all the time, but shouldn't let an action slide. How to do so?
Don't ever show anger when reminding him on the boundaries you have agreed on in order to have a healthy relationship. Instead, comprehend why he has done this and let him know in a lighter way. In many cases, humor may help.
As a last resort and if none of the above works, you may want to tell the guy you need a break. This can also be done respectfully and without hurting his feelings. It is harder to fall in love when you are older, so don't blame yourself for not answering to a guy's needs if you don't feel like it. Embrace what you are feeling and accept your decisions.
If you want to read similar articles to How to Deal with Clingy Guys - The Best Tips, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.