How To Know If You’re Not In Love Anymore

By Ameera Mills. Updated: June 11, 2020
How To Know If You’re Not In Love Anymore

Do you have doubts about whether you still love your partner? It is very common that at some point in our lives as a couple we feel insecure and have doubts of some kind. This could be influenced by something specific to the relationship or something completely external. One thing that many people question when they start to feel certain changes to their feelings towards their partner is how to know if they are falling out of love with their significant other. This time in a relationship can be very confusing and difficult to understand.

For this reason, in this oneHOWTO article, we want to help you by discussing 10 signs that tell you how to know if you’re not in love anymore.

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You don´t feel enthusiastic anymore

When the relationship began and you became sure you wanted to be together it’s normal to experience several emotions, including enthusiasm. When you would see your partner or speak about them, there was always a constant sense of excitement and happiness. When you would spend time together you would feel that you just couldn’t get enough of each other. However, with the passing of time, it can be quite common that these mentioned feelings tend to fade away or even diminish completely.

If you feel this way we recommend that you consider analyzing aspects of your life and specifically, your relationship. If you find that you do not care about being together with your partner anymore, or prefer to be alone, this can be a sign that you might have fallen out of love.

How To Know If You’re Not In Love Anymore - You don´t feel enthusiastic anymore

Being with your partner irritates you

If instead of enjoying time with your partner you feel irritated, nervous or uncomfortable, it is evident that there has been a change in dynamic. It is possible that before, almost anything either of you said or did would be fun, interesting and enjoyable to each other, but now you realize that the same things might get on your nerves. If this is the case, you might notice that you are arguing or disagreeing more as a consequence of this irritation.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to analyze and speak to your partner about everything you need to clarify or would like to possibly change. We recommend transparency in your relationship, the more you communicate with each other, the easier it will be to understand where these feelings of irritation or discomfort are coming from.

You have thought about cheating

If you have thought about cheating on your partner this is a definitive sign that you are not in love anymore. You have possibly considered commenting on having an open relationship, making exchanges of partners or similar things that include other people in your relationship. It is important to realize that if you feel a need to be with another person, whereas before you didn’t, this is an obvious sign that feelings have changed.

In this case, if you want to salvage the relationship, we suggest first talking to your partner. If this doesn’t work, you could also consider going to couples therapy. If you are sure that you are not comfortable in the relationship, and you do not feel that there is a solution to this problem, we advise either taking time for yourself, or ending the relationship completely.

How To Know If You’re Not In Love Anymore - You have thought about cheating

You avoid talking about future plans

It is possible that you are experiencing feelings of insecurity and doubt in your life, ¡if these doubts include thoughts of your future with your partner, then it is time to analyze. For example, if you are thinking about going to another country to work or travel, the most common thought would be to include your partner in these plans. If you prefer to undertake this adventure alone, it could be a sign that you do not see a future with your partner.

Talking with your partner about your relationship will be something that you will not be able to avoid for much longer. We suggest taking a long and hard look at your relationship and deciding exactly what you want for your life.

You want your partner to change

A very common mistake in relationships is to want the other person to change, or even worse, believing that you can change them. It is one thing to change small habits in order to compromise, but wanting to change traits that define the a persons character is nearly impossible. A person will change on their own accord, if you truly love your partner, you love them for you they are and not for who you want them to be.

If you are with a person only with the hope that they will change, you will inevitably feel frustrated or irritated when this does not happen. So, if you have doubts about how to know if you should leave your partner, compare how you felt at the beginning of the relationship to how you feel now. If you are not in love with your partner but instead with the idea of what your partner could be, this is a sign that you should reconsider whether this relationship is the best one for you.

How To Know If You’re Not In Love Anymore - You want your partner to change

You no longer respect your partner

Respect in a relationship is vital. If you realize that you no longer respect your significant other like you used to and you find that you do not care as much about what they have to say or what they feel or need, this is a clear sign that there is a lack of interest.

If you notice that in arguments you insult or belittle your partner without caring, there has clearly been a decrease in respect.

Your partner is no longer a priority in your life

It is not about spending 24 hours together or always doing everything as a couple, this is true, but when you realize that your partner is losing importance in your plans and life, it could be a sign that you do not feel the same. If you are making plans and wanting to focus on yourself without your partner, we recommend considering taking a break from your relationship and figuring out exactly what it is that you want.

You think you deserve someone better

Another sign that should not be ignored is feeling that you could be with someone better, smarter, more handsome, more attentive or more fun than your partner.

Take a moment to be honest with yourself and consider your options, trying to always stay respectful of your partner. If you really believe that your partner is not the best person for you, it is highly likely that you have fallen out of love with them.

How To Know If You’re Not In Love Anymore - You think you deserve someone better

You do not desire your partner anymore

In relationships not everything is based on sexual attraction, of course, but if you feel that you are not attracted to your partner like you used to be, it is possible that your feelings and interests have changed.

Have you tried talking to him about what you like and what you do not like in bed? Have you tried to get out of your normal sexual routine and try something different? If having fulfilled these things you still do not feel attracted to your partner, this could be a sign that you no longer feel the same as before.

You say that ‘‘I love you’’ out of habit

An unmistakable sign that you no longer feel love for your partner anymore, is realizing that you say "I love you" out of habit, rather than because you feel it. Whether you're saying goodbye or talking on your mobile, you release an "I love you" as an automatic response, almost without realizing it. In addition, if you find that you never say it first and are only saying it because your partner did, warning bells should be ringing.

If you want to read similar articles to How To Know If You’re Not In Love Anymore, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.

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