8 Things Not to Do In the Bedroom
There is no rulebook or a step-by-step guide for performing well between the sheets. Each relationship is unique, as is every sexual encounter. But knowing how to do sex right is not impossible. There are certain unwritten rules that are universally followed. As well as particular practices that nobody in their right mind would attempt in the bedroom! So to help you avoid making any sexual faux-pas, we at oneHOWTO have compiled a list of 8 things not to do in the bedroom.
1. Make comparisons
This is really annoying for a partner and can be quite hurtful. Comparing the individual you have in your arms with an ex partner or ex lover is a sure-fire way of extinguishing any potential spark you might have between you. Of course not many people will do this during intercourse (we hope). Yet, even just the slightest comment about a former lover can really stick into someone's mind. You may every trust in your partner, but imagine feeling like they are comparing your bedroom antics to their ex. Not nice, is it? We advise you to suggest things that your ex did well, without mentioning them.
2. Ask if your partner has climaxed
There are many mistakes men make in bed (women too) but this is probably the most common for guys. Don't pester your partner. This isn't the Spanish Inquisition so fight the urge to ask question after question about orgasms: have you climaxed? Do you have long to go? Are you enjoying yourself? Do you like this? This could spell the end of any flicker of passion you had between you and ruin the mood completely. Check out our article on how to tell if a woman is having an orgasm.
Sex is a two-way street, so try to enjoy the experience and make it pleasurable for your partner. Just don't let worrying too much about what your partner is feeling ruin the experience for both of you!
3. Talk about size (unless it's a compliment!)
Size is a sensitive subject for men and many a heated conversation has been sparked about whether size actually matters. Perhaps you yourself wouldn't dream about making a comment about the size of your man's penis, but it isn't always mentioned during sex. Listen up! Avoid offending him with patronising comments like: "despite your size, I enjoyed myself" or "your penis might be small but it's definitely hardworking!" Of course, if your partner has a sizeable penis and has shown pride in it before, feel free to reinforce this by giving a compliment. You could also simply avoid making comments about size at all and keep these thoughts to yourself.
4. Be cheesy or too intense
Keep it simple - whether you're 'having sex' or 'making love', continuously telling your partner things like "I want to spend the rest of my life with you", "I want you to be the father/mother of my children", "where is this relationship going... are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" isn't appropriate. Save these conversations for more suitable moments, i.e. not in the heat of a passionate moment. Some of you lucky readers may be thinking this is a ludicrous point. But let's just say - we at oneHOWTO have had some inappropriate declarations of love in the past! Save it for the right time.
5. Guess what your partner likes
If there is one method of knowing how to do sex right, it is to listen to your partner's desires and satisfy them! Try to be attuned to their body and pick up on how they react to what you are doing. But don't interrogate them with endless questions like a detective: Do you like what I'm doing? Am I doing it right? Shall I carry on or should I stop? It will be easy to tell if they are enjoying themselves - if he/she really doesn't like what you're doing, you'll be sure to find out about it. However, bombarding him/her with questions will achieve nothing but distract them.
Remember, no two people will like the same things sexually. They may have similarities, but what works for one person may not work for another. The female body being particularly tricky to master (but not impossible!)
6. Force your partner to do anything
Never ever force your partner to do something that you want without making sure they are comfortable with it as well. If they're not comfortable with a certain position or sexual act you should respect their wishes. Before attempting anal, ask if he/she is happy to proceed. Sex has to be consensual and both of you should enjoy it. Remember that sex without consent is rape. And rape is never acceptable.
7. Show your insecurities
One of our top sex tips for women is to find your inner goddess. In other words, please put all your insecurities or complexes to one side when in the grips of passion. You are beautiful and your partner chose you because he likes you just the way you are. Nothing is more off putting than knowing a woman feels uncomfortable or vulnerable being in her natural state. This can just make them feel unhappy and nervous. Asking insecure questions such as "Can we turn off the lights?" are distracting and remember, being sexy is an attitude, so be confident!
8. Be overconfident
Don't blow your own trumpet by talking incessantly about your sex abilities. How you're great at this, how you're a sex machine, a real femme fatale or Casanova. No. This will only send their expectations through the roof and leave them bitterly disappointed when they aren't met with reality. If you have certain seductive skills, your partner will definitely notice and you won't need to brag about it! Confidence is sexy, but there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness.
If you want to read similar articles to 8 Things Not to Do In the Bedroom, we recommend you visit our Sentimental relationships category.
- That brings our list of the top 6 things to avoid doing in bed to a close.
- Keep these in mind next time you have sex to prevent your partner from making a hasty getaway.