Common Oral Sex Mistakes
Still taboo in some circles, oral sex is becoming more widely accepted. If you've tried it, you'll understand why. You don't need either, but it can promote both intimacy and pleasure if you want it to. We don't know why you wouldn't want at least one or the other. Some are yet to be swayed. This could be due to common mistakes during oral sex, some of which can make the difference between a great time and an injury. At oneHOWTO we've got some tips to improve technique, provide consideration and show what should be avoided. If you're still not into it, then that's fine, but oral sex has great perks when done right.
Going too fast
This is a common oral sex mistake for both men and women. Sometimes you are overcome by passion and rushing just can't be helped. If you're all gung-ho, then being sloppy during oral sex will be part of the fun. Most other times, rushing is not good. Oral sex means you use your mouth, but it doesn't mean you need to go straight for the finish line. If you take time to stimulate other body parts, by the time you get to where you're going, pleasure will be more heightened.
Like most sex, the slow build with oral sex is the most rewarding. It's not that you don't want to use a little speed when necessary. It's more that if you go flat out for the whole time, neither of you are going to enjoy it very much. You may need to use some speed towards the end (more on that later). Whether you are working on the tip of the penis or the clitoris, you need to remember these are one of (if not the) most sensitive parts of the body. If you go too fast, they're not going to respond properly.
Not paying attention
This common oral sex mistake follows on from our previous point. One of the reasons you might go too fast during oral sex is because you are not paying enough attention. Just as with penetrative sex, rhythm and pace are important. When you're pleasuring someone orally, you will be able to feel their movements. Pay attention to little vibrations and when your rhythm works, increase it a little and see if it intensifies. If not, slow down and maybe change up your style a little.
The same movements for too long are boring. Being repetitive and speedy is a common oral sex mistake you must avoid. You're not playing Wii Sports. Ideally, improvise and vary the pace and intensity of the oral stimulation. Starting softly and slowly allows you to progress towards more passionate stimulation as excitement grows. Whether it's first rate cunnilingus or a pleasurable fellatio, surprising your partner with unexpected feelings is key to reaching climax.
Another common oral sex mistake is to only use the mouth. Get your hands in there, use your breasts (if you have them) or other body parts. Oral sex may be something enjoyed on its own, but it doesn't have to be that way. Use all the colors on your sexual palette, as long as you're both in agreement.
Using your teeth
This is especially a problem for new couples or if you are just starting to try oral sex. Whether you are going down on a man or a woman, you should test your limits, not break them immediately. Start with your lips to softly kiss the tip of the penis or clitoris. Like you might when French kissing, you should tease a little with your tongue. Oral sex is not like eating a Twinkie. Sure, you may end up with cream over your face, but biting down hard isn't going to be pleasurable for anyone.
If you are new at receiving oral sex, then this is one of the reasons many may be put off. Unless you are into it, adding pain to something which should be pleasurable can be really uncomfortable. It could mistakenly put you off it for life.
This is not to say you shouldn't use teeth at all. Once you get your rhythm right and find ways to tease, you can try it out. If you are going down on a man, you can set your teeth over the head or shaft and gently move down. If you are going down on a woman, then you can start to nibble a little if it feels right. You may want to ask your partner how that is as it's not for everyone, especially the very sensitive.
Not enjoying it
It is essential that both (or all) parties enjoy oral sex. You may be giving head as a treat for the other person, but you shouldn't do it if it makes you feel uncomfortable or compromised. If you enjoy giving it, the person who receives it should enjoy it more (something which can be complicated by sadism).
If you are receiving and the person giving is disinterested, pulls a face of disgust or looks bored, it will likely detract from the fun. Giving glances to your partner, being reassuring and showing your own pleasure while giving can greatly heighten your orgasm. And remember, two heads are better than one. So, if you receive, you should at least offer to give. You can even do it at the same time.
Pushing the head
This is a mistake that many men make when another man or woman is giving them oral sex. It isn't limited to it. Not everyone likes their head to be pushed when they're giving oral sex. Respect the movements of your sexual partner at all times and don't be forceful if they aren't into it. If you try to push the other person's head to make them gag you can make it very uncomfortable and restrict air.
However, this doesn't mean you shouldn't help the other person along. Not everyone is blessed with natural rhythm. If you gently guide someone's head as they perform oral sex it can make it better for both of you. It can even help with the other person's confidence.
Suck the clitoris
If you do, do so gently. It is important to note that the clitoris holds the most nerve endings in female genitals. If you abruptly suck it too hard, it can be very painful. When your partner is very excited, it may be a good time to massage a little stronger the clitoris with your tongue or suck gently.
Ejaculating without warning
Unless the two are in agreement, this is something guys should never do during oral sex. It's plain rude. Not all men or women are willing to swallow cum or let it fall on certain areas of their body. If you're with someone who is not respecting you, then you may have some questions to ask about your relationship. This is especially the case if they make a joke out of something which upsets you. They may even do it on purpose which is very disrespectful.
If it's something which gets caught up in the moment and you catch it too late, that's different. If they're cool about it and apologize, then it's maybe understandable. Anything form a light tap or a howling roar before ejaculation is more than just a courtesy, it's a must.
Perhaps this should have been our first common oral sex mistake to mention, because it's pretty fundamental. In every sexual practice, hygiene is basic, but even more when it comes to oral sex. Nobody likes to go down to the intimate area of a partner or companion and come across unpleasant odors or tastes.
This is not to be confused with natural odors and tastes. If you are new to oral sex, then be aware that genitals can smell for different reasons. For women, even the food you eat can have a bearing on what you will smell and taste like. For men and women, what you have been doing before will have an effect. If you are about to get down, but don't feel clean, it's wise for both of you to stop and wash first. It's respectful and will probably result in you doing it more.
Trying to be like porn
This is one of the most common mistakes with oral sex. Watching porn might get you in the mood or provide some helpful tips. However, you need to remember that a lot of porn involves actors. It is about fantasy and what works on screen might not work with your partner. Again, this is something common to new comers to oral sex (pardon the pun). Just because someone gags or moves like a jackhammer in a video, doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone.
Communication is really important when it comes to oral sex. A lot of this communication will be non-verbal, but if there's anything concerning you; talk about it. Not saying anything or letting unrealistic expectations is one of the most common oral sex mistakes. It's also one of the most disappointing.
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